The one time you *tried* to do the assigned reading.
The dorm bed mattress.
JUST PUT YOUR BRAND NEW COMFORTER OVER IT AND NEVER THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN. Except you still do. What were you even sleeping on?
The library during finals week.
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SIT? THE FLOOR?
The lanyard you wore around your neck for most of freshman year.
:: shudders ::
The first paper you wrote.
:: enlarges every period ::

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