Prancer is kind of a dick.
Comet
Comet is Daddy's good boy. He's a damn fine deer. I tell him things I don't even tell my wife. Sometimes when the other reindeer are sleeping, Comet and I wander off to watch the freshly falling snow and just think about life, you know? What does it all mean? And, yes, we can read each other's thoughts. I know some of you will think that's crazy, but I'm a magic fat old man, so you can imagine how many fucks I give. (It's zero.)
Getty Images/iStockphoto RolfAasa
Dasher
Dasher's fine. Whatever.
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Dancer
Dancer's spirit was broken a LONG time ago.
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Cupid
When it comes to reindeer, Cupid is fat and slow. He's made it perfectly clear that this is a business arrangement we have going and he's just going through the motions. And you know what? Fine. Have it your way, Cupid.
Getty Images/iStockphoto JohnDPorter
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