Because we’ve all suffered a dry spell, right?
Getty Images/iStockphoto Tiramisu Art Studio
January
OK, slow start to the year. That's fine though, I still have 11 more months. And hey, I'm not terrible looking. It's not as if I'm going to go a year without sex, or something. Right? Right??
February
Oh, cool. It's Valentine's Day. I hadn't noticed because I was too busy organising all of my bookmarked porn into something I've invented, called a Manageable Arousal System. Plus, if you have sex today, you let Hallmark win. Did you know that they make their Valentine's cards from the ground-up skulls of people who died alone?
30 Rock / NBC
March
You know what? This not having sex thing is actually really easy. I’m fine. Everything is fine. No, honestly. Really. Please stop asking me if I'm OK.
Flickr / Via Flickr: user
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