Just take deep breaths and try not to kill anyone.
CBS Television Distribution / Via likecool.com
1. What is this feeling?
2. Oh, it's pain.
3. Namely, the pain of cramps.
4. What the hell? I just took some pills four hours ago!
5. Okay maybe six hours ago.
6. No, no, I woke up in the middle of the night to waddle over to the bathroom and take another pill so the pain wouldn't keep me awake, it was eight hours ago.
7. Well, that explains it.
8. I gotta start setting alarms or something so I can time this shit out better because fuck this nonsense is why.
9. For once in my life, I have a few ibuprofen in my purse!
10. Thank you, Period Jesus.
11. Now I just have to wait for them to take effect. Mid-cramp. This should be fun.
Via theycallmejuliet.tumblr.com
12. I have to poop.
13. I just pooped and I still have to poop.
14. What is it about cramps that makes you have to poop so much?
15. OK, I just googled it and apparently there's a real science reason for that.
16. Huh. Weird.
17. How much time has there been since I took those pills? It's got to be at least 20 minutes.
18. Five. It's been five minutes.
19. This shit's supposed to be "fast acting," how fast can it possibly act if I've been sitting here with a knife in my guts for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES?
20. What will happen if I do a yoga pose right now. Will anyone notice?
21. Everyone will notice.
22. What about just curling into the fetal position and letting silent tears drip artfully down my cheek?
23. Everyone. Will. Notice.
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