Never underestimate 1,576 stairs.
This past Wednesday I made one of the top five biggest mistakes of my life — participating in the 38th Annual Empire State Building Run-Up, which is the Super Bowl for people who run up stairs (86 floors, in this case) competitively.
These are my unflattering selfies.
5th Avenue.
At this point I am feigning fear because I actually have ZERO respect for what it takes to climb 1,576 stairs. I ran the New York City Marathon in November, so any kind of event that takes the winner 10 minutes to complete doesn't exactly have me shaking in my boots. Nevermind the fact that November is three months ago and my stomach currently consisted of a large sushi lunch, Klondike Bar, Welch's Fruit Snacks, and four cups of coffee.
Matt Kiebus / BuzzFeed
Starting Line.
Look at that face! Brimming with confidence! Not a fear in the world! So innocent! A clueless fucking idiot.
Matt Kiebus / BuzzFeed
10th Floor.
Before the race I decided on a slow, but consistent pace. I wasn't there to break any records, so why kill myself, right? Well, by the 10th floor I already had enough. I apologized to the stairs for my unwarranted confidence, and begged for mercy. Look at the fear in my eyes — you can't fake that shit.
Matt Kiebus / BuzzFeed
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