BuzzFeed Oz volunteered to answer our American colleagues’ burning questions. Turns out they’re really confused about Australia.
Flickr: 22691568@N04 / Creative Commons
Where do people actually live in Australia?
"Almost entirely in the suburbs — in huge, one-storey homes on massive blocks."
"Actually in caves underground. It's to stop the crocodiles from eating us. (Part of this is a lie.)"
"We live in eyesight of the water so we escape all the things trying to kill us. But in the water is stuff trying to kill us."
"All around the outside. Most of us haven't been to the middle."
"There's a middle?"
Why did I spend so many years thinking Australia was so close to New Zealand when it's actually far? Why isn't Australia closer to New Zealand?
"Well, to answer your first question, I would say you have the American schooling system to thank for your poor understanding of geography. I know where Canada is. You should know where New Zealand is."
"Would you like some aloe vera for that burn?"
"Define close. We call it The Ditch. A three-hour flight across it? Not long enough."
"I love New Zealand."
"It's not closer because of tectonic plates and currents 'n' shit. Do we have to go into this?"
"Real talk."
Has anyone ever really been to Tasmania? Is Tasmania a real place?
"Yes. But we don't like to talk about it."
"Yeah, it's full of devils and great art. And bushy forests if you know what I mean. *wink*"
"Apparently it's really cold, which isn't really very Australian."
"All you can eat is apples."
"I went once and all we did was walk. Which, if you like walking, is perfect. I do not."
"Poor Tasmania. It always gets forgotten."
Why do you like Vegemite?
"If you're Australian you eat Vegemite and butter on your toast. Simple."
"Because it tastes good. The same reason you like that awful pre-mixed PB&J."
"It's salty and delicious and let's us know who not to trust."
"It's like pure salt, and if you don't think that's awesome you're wrong."
"Don't tell anyone, but I don't. Marmite is a far superior product. Sssh."
"That's UNAUSTRALIAN."
"Back to the UK for you!"
"I just don't even know what to believe any more."
Flickr: 8724931@N07 / Creative Commons
What are your thoughts on Outback Steakhouse? Are fried onions really an Australian delicacy?
"This has to be some of the most made up bullshit in the world… what the heck is a Bloomin' Onion?"
"Christ. I did a whole post on this."
"Outback Steakhouse is an abomination."
"When I went to one in America the steak was OK I guess. But it comes out on a wooden board with a bread roll. That's it. Cool."
Does anyone actually drink Foster's?
"You guys, when you come here."
"No. Like, you seriously can't even buy it. I've tried. I'm not sure why we can't even buy it."
"I've never seen it for sale in Australia. Isn't it brewed in Newcastle, England?"
"Probably. That would explain why it tastes like crap."
"Yeah, just another product exploiting how awesome we are."
"It's like wine. Keep the good stuff and send the bottom of the barrel back to Blighty."
Are those burgers with the beets and pineapple and all that shit really that good?
"YES."
"The. Best."
"Pineapple = yes. Beetroot = no."
"THAT'S UNAUSTRALIAN."
"+1"
"+2"
"Meh, I like my burgers how I like my cars. Without beetroot."
"A burger without beetroot is like Hugh Jackman without abs. It just shouldn't happen."
Do you have Dunk-a-Roos in Australia?
"I think. Like, in the 90s?"
"Yes. They were my childhood. My lonely, single-child childhood."
"Yeah, they are ballin'."
"OK but for real can you get them now? Coz now I want to eat them. Seriously, are they for sale?"
"Yeah, get out of your hipster bubble and go to a proper supermarket."
"Dunk-a-whats? Dunk-a-Roos look like they were invented by Scooby-Doo."
"UNAUSTRALIAN."
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