This is a safe space.
Where the magic/questionable decisions happen.
Katie Heaney / Via BuzzFeed
Okay. I personally have spent no money on the game. But I was writing about it a bunch for work, so I did the magical hack (you can Google how to do this pretty easily) because I had to make it go a bit faster for my purposes — so I could see the entirety of the fame letters (E to A) without wasting an entire weekend.
However, I strongly believe that you shouldn't have to be spending money on this game! It's actually enough of a well-made game that you can spread it out over time (as it intends you to do —aside from the fucked-up-ness surrounding the idea of in-app purchases, which are arguably necessary to fund the game!) This is very unlike games like Candy Crush — which puts up actual barriers between stages that you have to wait out, pay $0.99 for, or "ask friends" to push you through. The only thing you're paying for in Kim's game is go through it faster, essentially. Yes, it's a silly concept, but it's actually really well made game-wise: It's at the same time self-aware and accurate, and there's new stuff at every turn. Even the way you can interact with IRL friends in the game is pretty genius.
I'm back home in Illinois for a few weeks while I contemplate next steps. I've never slept well, particularly as a stressed high schooler, and even before that as an anxious middle schooler, and being in my childhood bedroom with literally no clue what I'm doing with my life dredges up a lot of dormant (heh) sleep issues for me. For reasons I won't ever understand (or recommend for my own conditional, potential child), I've been prescribed Ambien pretty liberally by my GP since I was about 13 or 14 years old. I learned probably earlier than most that sometimes, abusing Ambien can heighten experiences? I love reading/Wikipedia-ing/etc. on Ambien, but I consider myself to be pretty responsible about it all and never do anything wild outside of the confines of my hot pink childhood bedroom.
ALL THIS BACKSTORY TO SAY: Last night I was feeling a little down about myself, reading that part of Virginia Woolf's Orlando where she's with the gypsies until I just couldn't with it anymore, and had precious little else to look at as a source of comfort besides Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. Also important: I had a bottle of two-year expired Ambien in my bathroom cabinet!
Gameplay is indeed very boring because it's always like, Simon shut upppppp. And I always forget if the photo shoot studio is in downtown LA or in Beverly Hills, to the point where I play on my iPad, and have a note in my phone about each venue's location so I don't waste money on the bus when I could be spending it on a cat.
Anyway, my kustom avatar (modeled in my image, but hotter) was looking for gossip at Hollywood's hottest dive bar (?) The Brew Palms when I somehow clicked on the little cell phone icon and the first contact in my phone was "Andrew Bailey — a server." I couldn't remember when or where I had met him, but he wears a bucket hat and mermaid hair which made me laugh a lot.
In that moment, I was convinced he couldn't subsist on his waiter's salary in one of the United States' most expensive cities. I wanted to treat him right, impress him. I have a bit of a savior complex!
I had already squandered my in-game savings fashioning my avatar a new look (a Lanvin stunner Kim had worn to the Met Ball earlier this year). With an Ambien-addled brain that also tends to make my heart swell, I went for the in-app purchase for $4.99, securing me 5000 Kardashian Dollars. No hesitation. I spent more than half of those on Andrew Bailey, expecting him to become an A-List celeb instantaneously. Nothing happened, really. He's a waiter and American social mobility is a myth!!!!! JK, kind of, but still.
At the end of the day, we all just want to be liked. And in the earliest hours of the morning, I wanted to be liked by Andrew Bailey, a virtual server.
I bought 3 of the $4.99 K packs! It's mostly for the outfits and hairstyles. The good hairstyles all cost so many points! I bought a cute shaggy bob and then I had to get the beige bathing suit thing with the sheer robe to go with it for the Triste launch party at Chateu Nuit. I would say it embarrasses me to admit that, but I've stopped trying to rationalize it. I also didn't realize how hard the K points would be to get; I had a bunch early on and adopted that stupid stray cat because the game said it would make me more popular, but I should have bought the dog in the bag, which I could at least wear out. The cat lives in my crappy apartment next to So Chic, and I only see it if I stop by the apartment which I never do because the landlord just makes me pay rent.
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