Please Mercury, stop going into retrograde.
The first thing you do each morning is check your horoscope.
You have to see how your day will go, DUH.
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... And all your loved ones' horoscopes to see how their days will be.
Oh shit, Noel is gonna be PISSED today.
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You have serious anxiety when Susan Miller is late posting this month's forecast.
I CAN'T GO ON.
CW
You have your favorite horoscope app and would never betray it for one of the other IMPOSTORS out there.
You would even pay 99 cents for it.
Lara Parker for BuzzFeed
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