AKA your Friday night schedule.
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1. Eating an entire medium-sized pizza in bed.
2. Eating an order of warm cheesy bread in bed.
3. Eating a delicious piece of gooey chocolate cake in bed.
4. Telling the pizza delivery man that the medium-sized pizza, cheesy bread and chocolate cake are definitely not just for you and then shutting the door and taking off your pants and eating it all entirely by yourself. In bed.
5. Eating cubes of cheese from a cheese tray in bed.
6. Cutting thick slices from a very large block of cheese and putting them on crackers and eating them in bed.
7. Getting cheese and cracker crumbs all over yourself and not caring because it's Friday night and that's just what happens when you're having fun. In bed.
8. Stalking hot people on Instagram in bed.
9. Accidentally liking a picture of a hot person on Instagram and then unliking it and then hoping they don't see it, but secretly hoping they DO see it and fall in love with you. In bed.
10. Eating hot melty nacho cheese and chips in bed.
11. Eating like seven tacos from a taco truck in bed.
12. Eating an entire box of cereal out of a very large bowl that was definitely not meant for cereal because it's too big but you use it anyway because that's just the size of bowl you need for the amount of sugary cereal you require right now. In bed.
13. Eating an entire package of Oreos in bed.
14. Ordering Chinese food and telling the delivery man the door is open and he should bring it right to your bed and then eating that food in bed.
15. Rubbing your stomach and moaning softly to yourself because you give the best stomach rubs. In bed.
16. Spending at least three hours deciding which movie to watch on Netflix and then giving up and ordering another pizza and eating it. In bed.
17. Eating a big ass sandwich in bed.
18. Eating a bag of lukewarm McDonalds that you carried home in shame. In bed.
19. Eating a full breakfast with pancakes, waffles, hash browns, eggs and your choice of meat in bed.
20. Playing a song you really like but not actually getting up to dance, just kind of shaking back and forth in a horizontal position in bed.
21. Eating fried chicken out of a greasy paper box in bed.
22. Sipping from a glass, but not sitting up beforehand, and then spilling your drink all over yourself and your sheets and your greasy paper box of chicken. In bed.
23. Eating a bowl of spicy chili in bed.
24. Eating a bag of microwaved popcorn in bed.
25. Eating an entire package of regular-sized Swedish fish, NOT the big ones because the big ones are GROSS and too big and why were they even invented in the first place? That's way too big. That's way too big of a Swedish fish. Nobody needs that much Swedish fish in one fish. The small ones are fine, OK? They're fine. That's plenty of fish. IN BED.
26. Eating an entire pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream out of the container in bed.
27. Licking the inside of an empty container of mint chocolate chip ice cream in bed.
28. Drinking an entire bottle of wine in bed.
29. Texting your friends and saying "I REALLY wish I could come out, but I have loads of work to catch up on" and then getting another bottle of wine and watching Netflix for seven hours. In bed.
30. Judging people on Facebook in bed.
31. Watching choreography videos on YouTube, and saying, out loud, to nobody but yourself, "I could totally do that. I could SO do what Beyoncé does." And then ordering another pizza without actually standing up and then eating it. In bed.
32. Shopping for things you absolutely don't need but DESERVE because it's Friday night and it's time to treat yourself. In bed.
33. Seeing your face in your monitor when your chin is down and being momentarily horrified before realizing this is just your Friday night look. And then dimming the lights even further. In bed.
34. Scrolling through Tumblr and laughing maniacally to yourself in bed.
35. Wondering out loud if you should finally just get a cat to really liven up these already action-packed Friday nights. In bed.
36. Eating a bag of Cheetos and wiping the cheesy dust on your bare stomach in bed.
37. Dropping your phone on your face because you were using it right above your head. In bed.
38. Eating a large piece of hot cheesy lasagna in bed.
39. Eating an entire loaf of toasty garlic bread in bed.
40. Eating an entire box of instant macaroni and cheese in bed.
41. Wondering why the one clump of instant mac and cheese cheesy powder didn't absorb into the macaroni noodles and then eating it anyway because you don't want to waste a perfectly good clump of cheese dust. In bed.
42. Looking at pictures of butts on the Internet in bed.
43. Having a big box of warm cookies delivered and then eating all of them. In bed.
44. Scratching your entire body in bed.
45. Eating an entire box of Pop Tarts in bed.
46. Eating a whole 20-piece box of chicken McNuggets in bed.
47. Watching literally every episode of whatever television show you want in bed.
48. Eating an entire bag of tortilla chips with an entire jar of salsa in bed.
49. Literally just not wearing pants in bed.
50. Not wearing anything in bed.
51. Doing absolutely nothing and feeling great about it. In bed.
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