An extremely unscientific conversation. Sorry, every Australian ever.
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"There are multiple parts of Sydney. It's like this large broad area that isn't really defined by anyone."
"A lot of 'Sydneysiders' went to private school. And they probably played rugby."
"People from Sydney are really up themselves. It's like, 'Oh, I live around this beautiful harbour with these beautiful beaches and these beautiful buildings, I'm so beautiful and perfect.'"
"Especially people in inner Sydney who are coffee snobs and spend their weekends at 'organic markets' and eating chia seeds.'"
"Ugh. Sydneysiders are the worst."
"Melbourne is like a wannabe Sydney with worse weather but better looking buildings. Also its Luna Park sucks compared to Sydney's."
"I feel like people from Melbourne are way more cultured and intelligent than everyone else. And cooler. Melbourne just seems like the best city in Australia even though I've never been there."
"It's full of trams and graffiti and hipsters and a general feeling of self-worth that they are always eager to deny."
"Also I have this weird feeling that everyone in Melbourne can cook? I don't know why."
"People from Brisbane still use Internet Explorer as their default browser. And they're OK with that. So I guess just let them be."
"The only reason you'd go to Brisbane is as a stopover on your way to Hamilton Island."
"Nobody likes Brisbane. Not even the people in Brisbane."
"Also Bris Vegas? Please."
"I went there once for no particular reason and I just remember being amazed by all the cane toads. Like legit you think that's a joke but it's not and I was in the city."
"Also they have, like, a beach in the middle of the CBD? Like. They made one."
"Brisbane had to make its own beach because there's nothing else going for it."
"I read somewhere that Perth is the most expensive place in Australia now. So, good for them I guess."
"It's really hot and kind of like a different nation all to its own. Also they kill sharks for fun."
"I feel like there are more animals in Perth than people. It's like Jurassic Park but with sharks and vicious kangaroos instead of dinosaurs."
"Perth is one of those places that's great to visit but you'd never ever want to live there."
"The water is definitely bluer in Perth."
"I think Perth used to be known as a place that had a lot of bogans... and then there was an oil boom or something and all the bogans stayed around but just got loads of money. So now you have this issue with rich, ca$hed-up bogans who think they can charge you $7 for a coffee. Also they drive old Fords."
"And have personalised number plates."
"People in Perth still wear trucker hats and Ugg boots unironically."
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"I don't know anything about Adelaide...except people there call themselves 'Radelaide', which is kind of lame and kind of cute. Like a little kid trying to sing."
"It's full of churches so I guess they're religious people. They think they're posh and pronounce things like 'dahnce' and 'chahnce' and 'advahnce' and generally make you want to punch them in the face."
"Well there are more sex shops in Adelaide per capita than anywhere else in Australia so there's that. Also wine. Lots of wine. And those are probably the only reasons you'd go."
"So basically Adelaide is full of religious, drunk perverts."
"The Gold Coast is the place for Schoolies and Toolies. Nothing else."
"Bogans. Bogans everywhere."
"If chlamydia had a face."
"People with no creativity or imagination visit the Gold Coast. Every year."
"But they do have Movie World. Good for you, Gold Coast."
"It's a scientific fact that Movie World is the worst theme park in the world."
"If Two and a Half Men were set in Australia, it would be set in the Gold Coast."
"The Gold Coast is exactly what I think Florida is like."
"YES."
"But Florida had The Golden Girls, which makes it 1,000% better. Also anything is better than the Gold Coast."
"I feel like Newcastle is like Sydney's Northern Beaches but without the upper-class pretentiousness."
"Well technically it is like Sydney's super Northern Beaches."
"Everyone in Newcastle knows how to surf."
"Silverchair are from here."
"In winter, every teenage girl wears Ugg boots and booty shorts."
"Newcastle is full of young, drunk bogans."
"It's always on the news for drunken teenagers getting in fights and beating the shit out of one another, which probably isn't the best tourist image."
"Also I once heard that on an average Saturday night, there are more stabbings in Newcastle than the rest of the country combined. I don't really doubt that."
"Newcastle is one casino away from the Gold Coast."
"Canberra is full of politicians. 'Nuff said."
"Everyone went to Canberra when they were, like, 12 years old and it has affected them ever since. It's fucking boring. They have that horse's heart there and Questacon, which was quite magical when I was young but I imagine if I went back it would be really shitty. Like Wet n' Wild."
"Nope. I went to Questacon as a 20-year-old and it was magnificent."
"I question the sanity of people who voluntarily live in Canberra."
"Porn. Lots of porn."
"The porn capital of Australia."
"Also fireworks. So you can blow shit up whilst you...y'know, like, masturbate."
"It's not surprising because there's literally nothing else to do there."
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