Tuesday, 30 September 2014

33 Pumpkings

The most majestic of typos.


Your royal pie-ness...


Your royal pie-ness...


Thinkstock


15 Supposedly "Sexy" Things That Are Actually Awkward

FutureSex/AwkwardSound.


Grinding.


Grinding.


The supposedly "sexy" mashing of genitals as a form of dance. Achieving grinding synchronicity is an art achieved by few. At its best, you and your dance parter look like you're publicly masturbating. At its worst, you and your partner look like two plastic dolls performing anal intercourse.


tumblr.com


Dancing seductively on objects.



This is a supposed way to make dancing EVEN SEXIER. Dancing on things is dangerous. Especially in heels. Especially in a bathroom. Only attempt this if you also think falling on your ass is sexy.


instagram.com


Eating as if your food is a penis.


Eating as if your food is a penis.


Trying to act sexy while ingesting a phallic food item is awkward. Do people do this in real life? AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT? Like, I'm giving a popsicle a blow job and it's supposed to be serious??


NBC / tumblr.com


Cybersex.


Cybersex.


Everyone who wants ass online is lying. Everyone is an awkward weirdo. No one is sexy.


HBO / tumblr.com




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7 Celebrity Couples That Broke Up In September

Love is dead. Again.


Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa


Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa


What happened: Amber filed for divorce from Wiz on Sept. 24, asking for full custody of their child. According to a new report from Page Six, Amber may have walked in on Wiz "with twin sisters." Juicy! (But also sad.)


Getty Images / Kevin Winter


Khloe Kardashian and French Montana


Khloe Kardashian and French Montana


What happened: Khloe's rebound from Lamar Odom was just that according to TMZ , who believe "she ended the relationship, telling French she can't emotionally handle it" after her breakup with Lamar.


JPVegas/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES


Jordin Sparks and Jason Derulo


Jordin Sparks and Jason Derulo


What happened: 24-year-old Sparks called their breakup a "plot twist!" while Derulo told Ryan Seacrest everything :


MARK RALSTON/AFP / Getty Images



"What happened … in a nutshell, there was a lot of tension in the relationship for a lot of different reasons," he said. "Every relationship has ups and downs. There was a lot of pressures of marriage. There was a lot of arguing and stuff like that that just weighed on our relationship over time. When you stop having more good times than bad times, it's time to call it quits. It becomes something that is unhealthy."





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10 Reasons Gwen Stefani Should Always Win "The Voice"

She def ain’t no hollaback girl!


She shamelessly trys to buy-off her mentees.


She shamelessly trys to buy-off her mentees.


Mark Burnett Productions / One Three Media / Warner Horizon Television / Via tears-dry.tumblr.com


Then performs very cute victory dances when she does buy them off!


Then performs very cute victory dances when she does buy them off!


Look at that effortless running man in wicked high stilettos!


Mark Burnett Productions / One Three Media / Warner Horizon Television / Via bricesander.tumblr.com


She gives us fans much needed glimpses into her personal life.


She gives us fans much needed glimpses into her personal life.


She is just like one of us!


Mark Burnett Productions / One Three Media / Warner Horizon Television / Via tears-dry.tumblr.com


She throws some seriously sassy shade.


She throws some seriously sassy shade.


Mark Burnett Productions / One Three Media / Warner Horizon Television / Via aflawedfashion.tumblr.com




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14 Glorious Photos Of Maryland's Traditional Fall Tobacco Harvest

The Lewis Farm in Owings, Maryland, begins its tobacco harvest season.



A tobacco leaf lies on the soil after plants are harvested on the farm in September. Tobacco has been grown on the Lewis Farm for more than 60 years and still requires being harvested by hand. Starting next month, the remaining tobacco growers in the U.S. will be forced to compete in the open market and will stop getting buyout checks from cigarette makers to compensate them for surrendering their quotas.


Mark Wilson / Getty Images



Farmworker Tracy Creek cuts off tobacco leaves so they can be hung and dried at the Lewis Farm. Most farms in Maryland have stopped growing tobacco due to the state's buyout program.


Mark Wilson / Getty Images



Homemade axes are used to cut tobacco on the farm.


Mark Wilson / Getty Images



Farmworker James Brown cuts off tobacco leaves so they can be hung and dried in a barn.


Mark Wilson / Getty Images




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This Compelling Video For Mary Kom's Academy Will Change The Way Indians Look At Sports

Because there is more to India than cricket.


In a country blinded by love for cricket, Edelweiss Tokio Life Insurance took it upon themselves to show Indians that there are champions beyond cricketers.


In a country blinded by love for cricket, Edelweiss Tokio Life Insurance took it upon themselves to show Indians that there are champions beyond cricketers.


Edelweiss Tokio Life Insurance


Watch the touching video rightly called "Champions Beyond Cricket - A Call To Action" here.



Edelweiss Tokio Life Insurance / Via youtu.be



Edelweiss Tokio Life Insurance




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17 Times "Little Miss Sunshine" Reached You On A Spiritual Level

“Everyone just pretend to be normal.”


You've totally done this in the mirror.


You've totally done this in the mirror.


Fox Searchlight Pictures / Via tinypic.com


You like your privacy.


You like your privacy.


Fox Searchlight Pictures / Via weheartit.com


You know when to put your game face on.


You know when to put your game face on.


(The answer is always, BTW.)


Fox Searchlight Pictures / Via abbiebres.tumblr.com


You own a crappy car.


You own a crappy car.


Fox Searchlight Pictures / Via giphy.com




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19 Totally Abnormal Things Made Normal By College

Normal is boring.


Pulling all nighters because.



instagram.com


Drinking dirty beer after a dirty ass ball swirls around in it.



instagram.com


Going on an all pizza diet.



Domin-knows the way to my heart.


instagram.com


Drinking dangerous amounts of caffeine just to get you through the day.



Desensitized to heart palpitations, tbh.


instagram.com




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19 Things All Lazy People Don't Have Time For

Too much “getting up” required.


Ordering takeout instead of delivery.



Imma let the Whopper come to me.


instagram.com


Leaving the couch.



NEVER. LEAVING.


instagram.com


Weekdays.


Weekdays.


Whatever.


FOX / Via reddit.com


Grabbing something out of arm's reach.



NOPE.


instagram.com




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4 Grilled Cheese Tricks You Need To Try

Macaroni. Grilled. Cheese.



youtube.com


Jeff Goldblum Did A Commercial For Lightbulbs In His Underwear And A Robust Wig

It’s a real commercial, for a real product.


For some reason Jeff Goldblum is appearing in this commercial selling lightbulbs.


For some reason Jeff Goldblum is appearing in this commercial selling lightbulbs.


Because it includes him wearing this very nice wig.


Because it includes him wearing this very nice wig.


And standing in this hot tub, playing piano while wearing only those tiny shorts.


And standing in this hot tub, playing piano while wearing only those tiny shorts.


Please enjoy.



youtube.com




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26 Things You Will Never Be Able To Explain To A Chicagoan

Besides Kanye.


Why getting invited to someone's improv show is not actually meant to be a punishment.



instagram.com


Why anyone would willingly go to Navy Pier.



instagram.com


Why ANYONE would drive a car that doesn't have salt and snow chains ready in the trunk.



instagram.com


Why there is any good reason to stop referring to this as Marshall Fields.



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This Dog Is Best Friends With A Raccoon, So The World Really Isn't That Bad

At least we have this.


Besties!



Via youtube.com


Dog = raccoon couch.


Dog = raccoon couch.


Via youtube.com


What You Think Will Happen Freshman Year Vs What Really Happens

Naps on naps.


You will party every day all day.


You will party every day all day.


Silver Pictures / Via andrwscott.co.vu


What really happens:


What really happens:


12:00 a.m. rolls around, people get a little sloppy, you're really tired, and it's time to GTFO.


MTV


Dating a senior as a freshman will be really cool and romantic.


Dating a senior as a freshman will be really cool and romantic.


20th Century Fox


What really happens:


What really happens:


Dating a senior as a freshman is kind of creepy, and doesn't work.


Paramount Pictures / Via ignitesocialmedia.com




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How Well Do You Remember The Words To '90s Alt-Rock Songs?

Lyrics were pretty weird back then.



Jimmy Kimmel Held A Spelling Bee For Baristas Because They Always Spell Our Names Wrong

Shout out to all the people with unusual names! This video is for you.


Do these baristas know how to spell Khaleesi? What about Joaquin? Let's find out.



Via youtube.com


It started off pretty easy with "Phyllis."


It started off pretty easy with "Phyllis."


Via youtube.com


The competition then got a little heated with "Guillermo."


The competition then got a little heated with "Guillermo."


Via youtube.com


Round 2 moved into celebrity names, which were a little more unconventional.


Round 2 moved into celebrity names, which were a little more unconventional.


Via youtube.com




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Chanel Staged A "Feminist Protest" At Their Paris Fashion Week Show

“Women’s rights are more than alright!”


For this season's fashion show in Paris, Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel held a feminist protest.


For this season's fashion show in Paris, Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel held a feminist protest.


Youssef Boudlal / Reuters


It was led by Cara Delevingne.


It was led by Cara Delevingne.


WireImage Dominique Charriau


Signs included "Tweed is Better Than Tweet" and "Boys Should Get Pregnant Too."


Signs included "Tweed is Better Than Tweet" and "Boys Should Get Pregnant Too."


Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters


They reminded us that freedom should be free and that girls should dare to be different.


They reminded us that freedom should be free and that girls should dare to be different.


Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters




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7 Facts About Testicles That Will Make You Feel Weird

The poor beavers never had a chance.



BuzzFeedBlue / Via youtube.com


LINK: Bite-size knowledge for a big world. For more, subscribe to BuzzFeedBlue.


Canadian Media Can't Say This Alleged Rape Victim's Name, Even Though Her Family Wants Them To

A Canadian law prevents the press from naming Rehtaeh Parsons, the Canadian teen who killed herself after she was cyberbullied following an alleged gang rape. Her family says it protects the system — not Rehtaeh.



Leah Parsons / Via Facebook


The name Rehtaeh Parsons has been synonymous with cyberbullying and sexual exploitation ever since the Canadian teenager killed herself in April 2013. Her parents say Rehtaeh suffered through 17 months of severe harassment after a photo of her being sexually assaulted while vomiting and half-naked circulated around her school in 2011, when she was only 15 years old.


But last week, when the now-20-year-old man who took the photo of his friend penetrating Rehtaeh from behind while giving a thumbs-up sign pled guilty to one count of manufacturing child pornography, no Canadian media outlet was allowed to refer to Rehtaeh by name. Nor could they name her parents, who have been actively fighting for justice since her death, or provide any background details about the notorious case.


Rehtaeh's mother, Leah Parsons, told BuzzFeed News that, in life, her daughter wanted her name to be shouted as loud as possible.


"She's being silenced for the second time," Leah said. "What happened to Rehtaeh matters, and it's not right to silence her. When you take her name away, you take away people's interest in the story."


The media ban is due to a Canadian law that requires judges to prohibit the publication of information that could identify victims of child pornography under any and all circumstances.


Rehtaeh's unique name (it's "Heather" backwards), dreamed up by her mother as a teen, made international headlines and prompted anti-cyberbullying legislation and sympathy from the prime minister, as well as a six-month investigation into why the police initially dropped charges in her case. But the media can only describe the ongoing trial as a "Prominent Halifax child pornography case" — which isn't exactly google-able, especially since most people remember Rehtaeh as the victim of an alleged gang rape, not child pornography.


In the Canadian press, Rehtaeh is just a girl "who later died after attempting suicide."



Rehtaeh faced harassment for over a year before she killed herself in April 2013.


Leah Parsons / Via Facebook


Rehtaeh was allegedly assaulted by four teenage boys in November 2011, according to court records. She and another girl were drinking with four teenage boys that night when one used his cell phone to take a picture of his friend penetrating Rehtaeh while she leaned out the bedroom window, vomiting and naked from the waist down. Rehtaeh did not consent to the photo or know it was taken, but that didn't stop her assailants from sending it around school. Soon, boys Rehtaeh had never met were calling her a slut and asking her to sleep with them, too.


Rehtaeh and her parents reported the alleged assault and the photo a week later, Leah said. After a year-long investigation, the police decided there was insufficient evidence to press charges. According to the family, the police added that it was a "he said, she said" case as well as a "community issue," not a "police issue." The photograph didn't count as pornography, even though she was a minor, they said they were told.


Last week's guilty plea "tells everyone that police knew child porn was being spread around Halifax and they didn't do anything to stop it," her father said in court, according to The Chronicle Herald.


Rehtaeh was distraught when she heard that no charges would be filed, Leah said. She wanted to go straight to the media, but Leah advised her against it in hopes the case would eventually go to trial. "She wanted her name out there," Leah said. "She spoke up. She came forward for that reason. She wanted to stick up for herself."


The family moved from Cole Harbour to Halifax, another city in the province of Nova Scotia, but the bullying didn't stop. Rehtaeh attempted to hang herself and died three days later in the hospital in April 2013.


Charges were brought against the boys the following August for producing and disseminating child pornography, but the media ban wasn't upheld until earlier this year, months after everyone in not only Nova Scotia but around the world knew Rehtaeh's name. The boy penetrating Rehtaeh in the photo, now 19, has a trial set for November on two counts of distributing child pornography and the one who pleaded guilty last week is awaiting sentencing. Their names are protected under the Youth Criminal Justice Act, since the boys were minors at the time. But will anyone notice or care what happens to them?


"It's strange that the story has dropped so quickly from the public interest because it was so huge when it first broke," said Chronicle Herald reporter Selena Ross, who won a Canadian Association of Journalists' award for outstanding investigative reporting for her coverage of the issue. Ross warned BuzzFeed News not to quote her using Rehtaeh's name — she wasn't sure if she would get in trouble. "Now we're going to learn so much more about what really happened, but people aren't paying that much attention because the coverage is so confusing and clunky."




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21 Amazing Food Moments You Need To Experience This Fall

Best food season? Best food season.



Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed


Trying to figure out what to do with the million apples you just picked...



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Paramount Pictures via rebloggy.com




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Hunt For Man Who Killed Pennsylvania Trooper Continues, Police Find Pipe Bombs

Authorities confirmed they found two pipe bombs in the Poconos Mountains, which belonged to a man who allegedly killed a state trooper three weeks ago.



Pennsylvania State Police / Handout



Pennsylvania State Police / Handout




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13 Things All Basics Got Right

BRB, looking through Pinterest for a pumpkin spice cookie recipe I can bake.


Uggs



Sure they're ugly as hell, but on a cold day they'll keep your feet warm and, bonus, they're actually comfortable!


instagram.com


Using Valencia and X-Pro filters on Instagram.


Using Valencia and X-Pro filters on Instagram.


They really are the best ones. And, let's be honest, everyone looks a little better with a filter.


Via theatlantic.com


Taking selfies from ridiculous angles.



Sometimes if you want a good photo you've got to take it yourself. Who else but you knows your best angles?


instagram.com


Coordinating outfits with your friends.



Now I know which group not to stand behind -- I don't need to accidentally photobomb your group selfie shot.


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Elisabeth Moss Says That "True Detective" Casting Talk Is "100% Rumor"

“Everybody knew far more about this than I ever did,” the Mad Men actor told BuzzFeed News.



Elisabeth Moss attends the premiere of RADiUS-TWC's The One I Love at the Vista Theatre on Aug. 7 in Los Angeles.


Jason Kempin / Getty Images


The casting rumors surrounding the second season of HBO's True Detective have persisted for months now and though they were partially put to rest when the premium cable network confirmed Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn had signed on last week, the question about who will play a female cop on Season 2 of the Nic Pizzolatto-created drama remains.


The Notebook star Rachel McAdams and Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss have been two of the most often discussed actors allegedly vying for the part, but Moss told BuzzFeed News in a phone interview that there's very little truth to those rumors.


"Literally, someone turned around to me in a car and got an email and was like, 'Are you on True Detective?' And I was like, 'What are you talking about?' I was like, 'No. I don't think so.' And I had to go ask my team, 'What's happening with this? Is this, like, a thing?'" she said with a laugh while promoting her new film Listen Up Philip. "It's totally just a rumor. Actors are talked about when you're casting something. But everybody knew far more about this than I ever did. I had to go ask! Like, I read the article and had to go ask my team. So it's 100% a rumor."


Still, Moss, who wrapped up her run as Peggy Olson on Mad Men earlier this year (though the second half of the seventh and final season won't air until 2015), isn't avoiding a role on television. "I'm definitely open to doing television again. I think I might pause a second before getting into an episodic kind of thing like Mad Men where it's that kind of run because it is a lot and I want to try my hand at a couple other things," she said, "but I definitely, definitely am open to doing more."


"To me, it's where a lot of the really great material is," Moss continued. "And right now, I feel really lucky because we live in this place where, as actors, it doesn't matter. You can do a miniseries, you can do episodic, you can do theater, you can do big films, you can do small films. It doesn't really matter. It's all great stuff. I love that there are no lines anymore because I remember when there were. I can't tell you how many times I walk past a billboard or something and I see some really famous movie star doing a TV show now. And I'm like, They're doing a TV show?! It's truly amazing and it did not used to be like that. There's just such great crossover now and I love it. There shouldn't be any lines."


Should You Be Gluten-Free?

Are you bready to find out?


You knead to know.


You knead to know.


Via angryjoeshow.com


Yes, There Is Peen In "Gone Girl"

“The penis is in there!” said Ben Affleck. Talking about it, however, is a big, fat SPOILER, so consider yourself warned.



Ben Affleck, Patrick Fugit, David Clennon, Lisa Barnes, and Kim Dickens in Gone Girl.


Merrick Morton / 20th Century Fox



Neil Patrick Harris in Gone Girl.


Let's not mince words: Not one, but likely two penises show up in Gone Girl, director David Fincher's feature adaptation of Gillian Flynn's best-seller.


Star Ben Affleck admitted his penis makes a "very brief" cameo in a recent interview with MTV. "The penis is in there!" he said. "It's IMAX penis. … You should know it was very cold. A very cold set."


The context behind Affleck's nudity requires some tricky spoiler avoidance, since the scene in question comes at the very end of the movie. It references a specific sequence in Flynn's novel, although it unfolds a bit differently in the film. Suffice it to say, Affleck disrobes completely for the scene, which also involves a shower, and Affleck's penis does appear briefly, from the side. So it is not so much full frontal as it is full side-peen. If such a thing exists.




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16 Things You're Actually Thinking On A Date

I’ve literally run out of things to say to you.


When you say, "I'll just be a minute."


When you say, "I'll just be a minute."


FOX


When you say, "It's a nice night out, huh?"


When you say, "It's a nice night out, huh?"


FOX


When you ask, "What are you getting to drink?"


When you ask, "What are you getting to drink?"


ABC


When you say, "How's your food?"


When you say, "How's your food?"


AMC




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